Member-only story
The construction behind my life depended on too many frail rules. Now they are all falling apart. What a sight.
What a momentous day to reflect and absorb much-needed insight.
I was staring at the computer screen typing on my screen when suddenly, I felt a huge relief. A drop in weight. My shoulders dropped down intending to rest.
It was a noticeable drop and eventually halted any typing.
My fingers are still in position, but my mind is trying to hold on to the last intriguing thought.
The thought read like a question but spoke like a statement. It left me dumbfounded.
“Why is my life built on these frail rules? Couldn’t I just attempt to live?”
Let me share a bit more context.
For the many years that I have been conscious of my living, I have tried my best to optimize my life. I have read the how-to guides, devoured medium’s endless productivity articles, and even ventured past the first 10 pages of google’s search results: all in the name of “I could probably do something here.”
I guess I am partly curious, but I wouldn’t hurt my self-image if I say I’m slightly OCD when it comes to the order of my life.
