Comfortable with NO

Abe
2 min readOct 26, 2020

Learning to say no more often

When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying to ‘no’ to yourself — Paulo Coelho

You might even consider saying, “hell no”.

It’s not a bad idea to prioritize yourself. In fact, that’s probably the best you can do in order to eventually prioritize others.

When your cup is full and life continuously pours, whatever is leftover can be shared with others. Whether that be your energy or financial security.

If you struggle to say no then you should look around at how many parts of your life deserve more of your attention. Especially if your struggle comes from guilt.

Guilt is a huge factor in unhealthy relationships — personal and professional. I would figure most of it originates from feelings of insecurity, which is okay.

People who claim to live a life free of insecurities are either lying or delusional.

Being insecure is being human. It means you have identified opportunities for growth. And to me, that’s a great place to be, because it’s the beginning of an adventurous journey, in which throughout that journey, you are making significant discoveries about yourself, and how you relate to what is outside of you.

So I get why we are prone to become yes-men and yes-women. It’s a survival instinct.

However, there comes a point when the guilt of saying no can seriously dampen the human that you actually are.

You are unique, interesting, and have wild interests. You might relate to others in certain ways but surely you have a sense of style that is uniquely yours.

If so, then you probably have a perspective of life that is as different, which can lead you to have differing conclusions.

Keeping that in mind, your ability to say no is exactly your vote to preserving that idea while prioritizing and highly considering your intuition.

Without your intuition, you would just be a complete replica of your environment. And as much as you do have control of your environment, sometimes, where you grow up is not really of your own choosing.

So, it might be difficult to say no. To fight back against the majority, to say I trust my own guts, but if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have too much to stand on.

Maybe that’s rather dramatic, but without you, how could you do life?

Aren’t you the main ingredient?

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Abe

I write about holistic growth and trading futures. You can find more on my substack as well @ https://simpletrading.substack.com